Raise Your Glass
by RaynaMathews
Summary: What happens when a mysterious case brings back two people from Spencer Reid's past that he didnt want to remember? mXm Rated M
1. Chapter 1

Hey guys I'm back! This is a new fanfic I'm working on! I'm still working on the others, but this one just popped into my head one day and I wanted to write it down. It is a male on male story that contains violence, language, and a slash later on maybe. Hope you guys like it! (By the way, this is set about right after Dean got out of hell, but before him and Sam knew they were vassals.)

"Hey kid, thought I'd drop you a message." The voice said heavily in Spencer's ear. "Call me back." It wasn't a question.

Spencer clenched his phone before Morgan narrowed his eyes at him. "What's up pretty boy?"

The younger agent shook his head. "N-nothing. Just a message. So where are we going?"

Hotch looked up. "Colorado. Small town near Denver. There have been mysterious disappearings around there for the past few weeks. Three women have disappeared, all show up two days later with puncture wounds in their neck, blood drained."

"Vampire symptom." Spencer mumbled to himself.

His muscles tensed slightly as a thought passed through him. "No."

"What?" Rossi looked up at him. "What is it Reid?"

The boy shook his head. "Nothing. When are we landing?"

Morgan watched him closely. "15 minutes." The boy nodded stood, walking his way to get a coffee… or...cup of sugar really.

"SSA Hotchner, this is agent Morgan, Prentiss, Rossi, and Dr. Reid. Our technical analyst, Penelope Garcia is setting up now." Hotch greeted an old deputy.

He smiled slightly. "I'm Deputy Nickle. Terrible thing that's goin' on here." He said sadly. "Three girls in six days. Didn't know someone could do something like this." He sighed, pinching his nose. "Hey listen, anything you need, ma people will get it for ya'. Just find the bastard who did this."

Rossi smiled. "We will."

"Federal Marshals, I said." An angry voice growled.

The team turned to see two men stepping up to one of the deputies in the main room. One was short, his brown hair chopped at the top of his head and spiked. He wore tight suit and his brown eyes were angry. The other man was taller. His hair was also brown, falling in long strands around his baby face. His hands were stuffed in his pockets making his already big shoulders seem bigger.

"Names?" the deputy asked them.

"I already told you!" the short one growled. "I'm Agent Marshals and this is Agent Marks. I want to talk to whoever is in charge here."

The deputy pointed over to Hotch and smirked. "He is as of now."

The men turned and Spencer gasped, his eyes widening and muscles tensing again. The men stopped in their tracks to stare at him as well.

"Spencer?"


	2. Chapter 2

Hey guys! Hope you like it so far! Again there are warnings! It will get around a rated PG-13 to a rated R rating. Please keep reading!

Disclaimer: (forgot it in the first chapter sorry!) no matter how much I try, I do not own criminal minds or supernatural. I'm still trying though!

Anyway here ya go! Enjoy!

"Spencer?"

The said boy took a step back, his hands shaking. But instead of his eyes being trained on the short man speaking his name, his eyes were watching the taller one.

"Spence? Kid?" The short one stepped forward. "Wake up kid." He snapped his fingers.

Spencer jumped and looked at him. "That's it." The man smiled. "There ya are. Whatchu doin here kid? Ya stalkin me now?" he chuckled, his smile widening. "If you were stalking me, you'd have returned my call though."

"D-Dean." The younger boy stuttered.

He smiled. "Ah, so you do remember me!"

"H-how? What are you doin here?" Spencer gasped, ignoring the team shooting him questioning glances. "I thought you were heading up to Montana! Bobby told me…"

Dean stepped forward again. "You'll talk to Bobby but not me?"

"I'll talk to you, but Sam…." He blushed, widening his eyes, "I-I mean."

The tall man forced a smile. "It's alright, Spence. I know what I did. I don't expect you to forgive me." His eyes turned hard. "That doesn't mean however that you can just disappear whenever you want. Do you know how hard it is to track an FBI agents phone?" he growled. "We had no idea what was going on. I didn't know if you had died or anything."

"Excuse me," Prentiss stepped forward. "Can someone tell me what's going on?"

"No." Spencer answered for them, his eyes pushing back tears. "They were just leaving." He glared at the men and took a deep breath. "Now."

Dean shook his head. "Spence, there is something here killing women. You can't tell us to leave."

The boy pulled his gun from his pocket in a moment, his eyes narrowing as he pointed it right between the man's eyes. "You wanna bet Dean? I will shoot you right now if you don't get out. And you know I'll do it. I've done it before. Get out and go home. We don't need you here, we can deal with things by ourselves."

Hotch's eyes widened along with everyone else's. "Reid, put the gun down."

"Get out." The genius growled at Dean.

Dean sighed. "Look kid."

"Call me kid one more time and I will shoot you." Spencer said, his voice filled with malice.

"Dean." Sam put a hand on his shoulder. "Come on. He doesn't want us here." There was sadness in the man's voice and he looked away. He chuckled though. "He never did like being called 'kid.' Pissed him off every time dad did it." Sam sighed and forced a smile at Spencer. "By Spence, sorry we bothered you."

"Sam."

The two men left and Spencer let out a dramatic sigh before sitting down. "God I hate them."

"Who were they?" Morgan asked.

"Just some old… friends. We grew up together. Split up a few years ago before I joined the BAU." Spencer explained. "Sam…" he paused and shook his head. "Sam went off to college and Dean… well… Dean was Dean."

Prentiss shook her head. "What aren't you telling us Spence?"

"Nothing, can we just work on the case?"


	3. Chapter 3

Hey! Thanks for all the reviews everyone! Since I got a few saying they wanted to know of the past between Sam, Dean and Spencer, this chapter is a flashback. It takes you through the life of Spencer Reid as a child. Enjoy! Review please!

Disclaimer: I do not, nor never will, own CM or Supernatural.

Now, everyone thought they knew Spencer Reid's life. He had a dead beat dad that left when he was 9, and a pskitsophrenic mother he had to send away at the age of 18. What no one knew though, was of his life between that time. Yeah, he went to high school and college for a while. But what about during breaks? Weekends? Summer?

Spencer's father was what many called Hunters. He traveled around hunting demons and vampires.

Spencer's best friends as he grew up were two boys named Sam and Dean. Dean was a few years older than Spencer, and became like an older brother to him. Sam was only about a year older than him and they were inseparable. Sam came over whenever he could, he visited when they were in town.

Sometimes Spencer even went on hunting trips with them. Sam was super protective of Spencer, but Dean even more so, having to protect both Sam and Spence.

Sam was 15 and Spencer 14 when they had their first kiss.

Dean had caught them the second time. He merely shook his head sadly, knowing it was going to happen eventually. He made sure to tell them not to let 'dad' know, speaking of Dean and Sam's father. From then on, Sam and Spencer only kissed when 'dad' was on hunting trips. They didn't actually get 'together' until Spencer was 15.

Sam asked him to date one day when their 'dad' was gone with Dean.

Spencer had said yes and they kissed.

They dated for 2 years before Spencer went to college. Sam visited every time he could and called every night to make sure Spencer was alright. Spencer never told Sam of how he was teased at school, for his looks, his way of speaking.

Though you can't hide things from the Winchesters.

Dean showed up one day, his face angry and fists clenched. Sam was just as mad, but he grabbed Spencer and pulled him behind him, shielding the boy from the larger man wailing on him.

"You got a problem?" Dean asked the older man, glaring at him.

The man just glared back. "Back off kid. He was out of line."

Dean glowered at the man. "I am no kid. I can beat you any day back off my bro." He growled, punching the man in the face.

Spencer was crying by the time Dean was dragged off campus with Sam and Spencer following.

"Damn, I think he broke my finger." Dean sneered, looking at his knuckles.

"Spence." Sam looked over at his lover. "Why did you tell us?"

He looked down at his feet and blushed. "I didn't want you to worry."

Spencer was never picked on after that. Though when he was around 18, Sam went off to his own college, forgetting Spencer. He stopped calling, didn't come visit anymore. Spencer never called him, thinking the boy didn't want to talk to him anymore. Dean called one day, apologizing so many times, Spencer hardly remembered why he was apologizing. Sam had a girlfriend.

Spencer didn't even know he and Sam broke up. Did they?

The boy was heartbroken. He hadn't talked to Sam since.

He joined the BAU, forgetting the brother nearly completely. Dean still called at least once a weak. Spencer updated Bobby about what was going on around Quantico. Life was pretty normal except for the large crack still reeking havoc in Spencer's heart.


	4. Chapter 4

Hey guys! Here is chapter 4! I hope everyone likes it. It's a bit of a short chapter, but they all kind of are. I'm working on the story line mainly. I don't want to move along to fast but not too slow either, so here it is! Enjoy!

I still do not own anything… sept their feelings of course. Sigh…

Chapter 4

"Hey, You ok kid?" Morgan asked, walking into their room. It was the first time Morgan had agreed to sleep in the same room, but the only time Spencer really didn't want company.

The boy nodded, his eyes wide. "Y-Yeah I'm fine."

"Who are they?" Morgan sat beside Spencer on one of the beds, his eyes worried. "Who were they Pretty Boy?"

"Just old friends."

"Didn't look like friends to me." The older man commented.

Spencer sighed, looking down at his hands. "We met when I was younger. Our fathers were friends. They moved around a lot because of… work." He paused, biting his lip. "They became like brothers to me. When they were in town, we were inseparable. Dean… The short one, is the oldest."

"Really? The tall one looked older." Morgan said surprised.

Spencer forced a laugh. "Yeah. Sam was always more mature than Dean, and taller. Dean is a few years older than both of us. Sam is a year older than me. They always protected me. No matter what happened. When Dean was old enough he'd come see me. If I needed him, he would drive all the way from New York to Vegas if he had too. Sam would come sometimes too, but his dad usually kept him at home."

"What happened?"

Spencer bit his lip again, trying to hold back the tears he hadn't shed in a long time.

"We moved on. I went to college. Dean and Sam kept working, taking over their dad's job." He swallowed. "Then Sam went off to college, got a girlfriend and never talked to me again."

Morgan pulled back slightly. "Why?"

"No reason… Listen, I… I'm tired." He lied.

Nodding, Morgan patted his back and moved to the bathroom. "Alright Pretty Boy, get some sleep. We're talking to the families tomorrow."

Spencer forced a smile before Morgan walked into the bathroom.

OO

_"Sam? Sam!"_

_ "Spence shut up! I'm right here." A pair of arms wrapped around me and squeezed. "You're ok kid. Stop screaming, they'll know where we are."_

_ The boy relaxed. "Sorry… Who will know where we are?"_

_ "The hunters."_

_ "What hunters? You and Dean are the hunters." He mumbled, trying to turn in the taller boy's arms. "Where's Dean?"_

_ Sam's arms tightened around him. "Hush, jeez were you always this loud? Dean is hunting us. We have to be careful. We don't want him to find us right? Let's run away together, baby. Let's get out of here. Maybe we could find some girl to have some fun with. Rip some people apart."_

_ Spencer began struggling, trying to pull away._

_ "What are you talking about! You're joking right?"_

_ "Why would I joke? Look in the mirror, it's what we're meant to do, Spence."_

_ Spence did look in the mirror. The one that appeared in front of them. He did not like what he saw. He was standing there in his 27 year old body, Sam right behind him in his 28 year old body. They looked exactly the same. Sam's arms were wrapped around Spencer's shoulders, Spencer was grabbing his wrists. But their eyes… The eyes in that mirror were not theirs. Those were demon eyes. Spencer's were a pure black, no pupils, no whites, just black. Sams… Sam's eyes were yellow. They weren't black, just yellow._

_ "We're demons, Spence, it's what we do. Let's go." _


	5. Chapter 5

Hey! I'm back. Sorry I didn't update sooner, I was kinda at a block. Didn't know where to go from here. So I'm winging it! Here we go!

I still don't own anything but the story line and crossover… sighh…

"A club?" Hotch repeated.

Morgan nodded. "Yeah, that's what all the families said. Each of the girls go to this club downtown at least 3 times a week. They said everyone goes to it."

"Everyone?"

"Everyone who's anyone. Which means all the goths and emo vampire wanna be's go." Morgan answered, sitting on the table. "So if we're going, we're gunna have to fit in. Dress the part and walk the walk."

Rossi walked in a few moments later. "That'll have to wait. There's another victim."

OO

Spencer stared at the jagged wounds on the blonde womans neck, holding his breath as he controled his emotions. Glancing over at Prentiss, who was talking to Hotch, the boy sighed.

"It has to be." He mumbled to himself.

"Has to be what?" Morgan walked up next to him and smiled. "Hey. Those guys are back again." He pointed behind him and gave Spencer a pity look. "Won't leave till they see ya."

Spencer turned to see Sam and Dean standing in suits just passed the police tape.

He sighed, knowing he wouldn't be able to just sneak off and ignore the boys. He walked up to them, ducking under the tape as Dean lifted it. "What do you want? I told you to go home." He said to them.

Dean smiled. "First off we have no home. We practically live in the Impala."

"And hotels." Sam fished in.

Spencer ignored Sam and kept his gaze on Dean. "Then go back to your car and start driving Dean. We don't need you here messing everything up." He sighed, rubbing his temples. "Just… Just go before you get me fired and give me an even worse headache than I already have."

"Why do you have a headache? Are you ok?" Dean said worridly.

Spencer rolled his eyes. "Yes. I'm fine. Just didn't get much sleep last night."

"Ok. We'll go. Just tell me Spence. Is it a vampire?" Sam asked.

"No." He said, though he knew it wasn't true. "Just some teenage wanna be who's pretending to be and killing people for it."

Dean watched him for a bit before sighing. "You always were a bad lier."

"The club." Spence finally sighed. "He's picking them up at a club downtown. We're all going tonight, well, me Prentiss and Morgan are." He glanced up at Dean. "Don't screw up, Dean. I don't want to see you get hurt."

Dean laughed and patted his back. "Shouldn't I be saying that to you?"

OO

At the club.

"Spencer you look great! Stop fiddling with your hair!" Prentiss yelled over the thumping music.

Said boy glared at her. "I'm in a green tank top with a fishnet shirt over it, the tightest leather pants on the planet and I have makeup on my face. Don't tell me to stop fiddling!" Again he pushed his hair behind his ears.

"Don't worry, you're still pretty." Morgan dodged the slap aimed at him and laughed.

"Damn right I am. Now if you'll excuse me I'm going to the restroom." Spencer said angerly before stomping off the floor, towards the mens room.

He glanced at the mirror and frowned at himself. If he had boobs he'd pass off as a girl. An ugly teenage girl trying to hard to get laid. He sighed, running his hand through his hair. "Damnit. This is not fun." He mumbled.

Not sparing another glance at the window, Spencer walked out of the bathroom and back into the club. A dark voice behind him spoke.

"You're friends right you know. You are pretty."

Spencer turned around to see a large guy with black spiked hair and eyeliner on. He wore a black button up shirt and a tight pair of pants. He was pretty good looking for a guy.

"You know." He said softly. "I usually go for girls, but I like you." He held out his hand and smirked. "Wanna get out of here?"


	6. Chapter 6

Here's another chapter! I'm typing fast to make up for lost time! Hope you all enjoy it! Don't be madd at me or anything.

Still own nothing.

Spencer stared at the man as he was led from the club into an alley. 'He's the killer. I know it. Good thing I brought my holy water.' Spencer thought, remembering the small bottle in his pocket. 'It will slow him down till I figure something else out.'

The man smiled at him, shoving the boy against the alley wall. "You're pretty."

"You said that already." Spencer groaned, feeling the sharp wall against his back. "Ow. Listen, why don't we go somewhere else?" He said, tryign to buy time. He didn't really have a plan. God he felt stupid. 'Right Spencer, just go follow a vampire into an empty alley without a plan. Did Dean teach you anything!'

"How about we stay here?" The man growled, pushing up against Spencer. "I like it here." He leaned forward, his lips a breath away from the agents. "I like you."

Spencer turned his head, not allowing the man to kiss him. Lila was the only one he'd kissed since Sam left him. He wasn't going to let a blood sucking killer be the next.

"Aw. Is the little kitten shy?" The man chuckled. "That's ok. I'll just go for your neck instead."

But before the teeth sunk into Spencer's neck like he expected them too, a scream sounded and a cold liquid shot across Spencer's face. He opened his eyes to see the decapitated vampire fall to the ground and Sam in front of him. He noticed the blood on both of their faces but ignoreed it.

"Are you an idiot?" The tall man growled. "You could have been killed!"

Spencer stared at him in shock, forcing back the tears trying to make their way out. "Sam." He said, his voice cracking as he tried to steady it. "What are you doing here?"

"Saving your life!" His ex yelled. "Serioiusly Spencer? A vampire? What did you have? Holy water? A stake or machete? No!"

Spencer pulled out his bottle of holy water. "Actually I did."

Sam threw up his arms. "Great! You have a tiny bottle of holy water. It woudlnt have stopped him from rippign your head off Spence."

"So?" The younger boy snapped. "Who cares? Aparrently you don't!" Sam opened his mouth but Spencer continued. "No! you don't care! We grew up together, we were so close. It's only natural for me to fall for you right?" The tears began sinking down his face. "It's only right for me to fall in love with another man because he's always been there! But no, he had to go and break my heart!"

Spencer glared at Sam.

"Spence, listen to me…" Sam started.

"No!" Spencer hit Sam's chest weakly. "You left me! You said we'd make it work!" He cried. "I went to college and you promised you wouldn't see anyone else! I loved you!"

"We were kids Spence!" Sam tried again. "I didn't think you knew what love was."

Spencer glared at him. "Well I did. I also knew what heartbreak was. Do you know how long I cried after Dean told me you had a girlfriend? I tried to tell myself it wasn't true. That didn't work. Then I tried telling myself you deserved her, that I was bad for you. That didn't work either. So I cried."

"And that gives you the excuse to get yourself killed?" Sam growled, pointing to the vampire.

"No, it gives me the excuse to prove to you that I don't need you anymore! That I can take care of myself, your love or not!" Spencer cried, his cheeks red with crying. "It gives me proof that I don't love you anymore! That I don't want you anymore!"

He turned, facing away from the surprised Sam.

"Spencer. I was… I didn't think you loved me in the first place. You were like 15. You were too young to know what love was. I figured it was a teenage crush. One of those expiriment things. I didn't know." He mumbled.

Spencer turned to glare at him. "Didn't know? I told you everyday! I worried everyday that you'd been killed or something because you refused to talk to me. I moped around for months because I didn't know what I had done to make you hate me."

"Hate you!" Sam grabbed the boy and pulled him into a hug. "I could never hate you. Spence I love you. You have to believe that."

"How can I?" Spencer mumbled. "You forgot about me. You just moved on without even telling me we were over. I spent months trying to remember when you had told me it was over."

Sam liften Spencer's head. "Spence, I love you. I always have."

Spencer stared at him, watching his eyes. "Prove it." He challenged.

Sam smiled, leaning down to press his lips to Spencer's. It was amazing. The best kiss Spencer had ever had. That was until the image of Sam's yellow eyes popped back into Spencer's mind. He finally remembered their dads talking about how a demon had given Sam some of his blood. Did that mean Sam was a demon? That Spencer was kissing a demon?

The boy pushed Sam away, his eyes wide with confusion and fear.

"Spencer? What is it?" Sam asked, slighlty worried.

Spencer looked up at him. "Y-you never told me you were a demon, Sam."


	7. Chapter 7

Hey guys! Sorry I havent updated... like anything... recently!  
I am currently writing a book, so I've mainly been working on that. Anyway

here is another chapter for those who have been wantinng me to keep

updating! Thanks for reading my stuff!

Still own nothing!

"Spence, what are you talking about?" Sam asked after following Spencer into his hotel room and closing the door.

Spencer stepped back. "You're a demon. I can feel it, I saw it yesterday, in my dream."

"That's just a dream, Spencer." Sam tried.

The fbi agent wouldnt take it though. He shook his head, his eyes angry. "No, Sam. You know i've always had prophetic dreams. So have you! You never told me it was because you were a demon! How do I know it's even you i'm talking to!"

Sam's eyes narrowed. "Spencer, it is me. I'm not a demon. Some yellow eyed freak made me drink his blood when I was like 4 months old and ever since i've had weird powers. But i'm not a demon, Spencer. I'm just Sam. You know that." He stepped forward, his eyes soft and a sad smile on his face. "I've never lied to you or tried to hurt you on purpose. Spencer, I had no control over what happened when I was a baby. I do now. I'm not letting it take over me. You have to believe me."

"He's telling the truth, Spence."

They turned to see Dean standing in the door way. "He only uses it to bring demons out of humans instead of killing them. He rarely even does that anymore. We didnt tell you because there wasnt really a reason for you to know."

"Wasnt a reason? You let me fall in love with a demon, Dean." Spencer growled.

"He's not a demon! And what about you? You never told us you were..."

"Hey Reid, we have a problem." Hotch walked in, eyeing the brothers. "You busy?"

Spencer shook his head, glaring at Dean. "No. I'm not. What's happened?" He looked up at his boss and frowned, seeing the slightly worried look on the mans face. "Hotch? What's happened?"

The older man frowned and handed him a piece of paper. "There's been another attack. Elizabeth Berry, age 29. I need you and Prentiss to go down and talk to the parents. Morgan and I are going to the club to see if anyone recognizes her. Rossi is taking JJ to look at the body. It seems like this guy is taking a victim a night now. We have to hurry or there will be another girl dead tomorrow morning."

Spencer nodded. "Everything is the same?"

Hotch nodded. "Yes. The body was drained of blood."

"Alright. Let me just grab my things."

Sam stepped forward. "Actually. We were going to ask if we could help. We were called in special for this case and you wont let us in. And after what happened earlier, I dont think it's safe for Spen... Agen Reid to be alone."

"I wont be alone." Spencer growled, glaring at sam. "Emily will be with me."

"What happened earlier?" Hotch asked, his eyes slightly worried.

Spencer rolled his eyes. "Nothing. Some guy just tried messing with me at the club that's all. It wasnt a big deal." He glared at Sam again.

"Mess with? He nearly raped him, would have if I hadnt been there." Sam growled, glaring back.

"I was perfectly fine on my own thank you very much! I had my gun in my boot and a bottle of... no, you know what Sam... You cant just come back into my life after almost 10 years and try to control me, protect me." He waved his hand and glared. "Now if you will excuse me. I have to change so the victim's family doesnt think i'm a slut."

Dean chuckled before pulling Sam with him out the door. Hotch watched before turning to the doctor. "Reid? Are you sure you're alright?"

The boy nodded, forcing a smile at his superior. "Yes. I'm fine."

He came back out a moment later dressed in his normal nice shirt, sweater vest and dark jeans. His gun was pressed nicely to his side and his hair was spiked on top of his head. "Alright Prentiss, let's go."

The woman nodded and they walked out to the SUV. "Spence, do you mind if I ask you a personal question?" She asked, getting into the drivers seat. Spencer looked over at her and shrugged, allowing her to ask. "What relationship do you have with those men?" She asked, her eyes filled with concern and wonder.

Spencer's muscles tensed slightly but he sighed anyway. "Thought you were going to ask that."

"Well?"

He sighed, she already knew he wasn't straight. "Sam is my ex. All three of us practically grew up together. Sam and Dean moved around a lot, but they always made time to visit." He glanced out the window, not able to tell if the other agent was surprised or not. "Sam was my first kiss and my first boyfriend. Dean was like an older brother to me. He protected me and Sam with his life. And with my mom the way she was and my dad always gone, I really needed someone to be there for me. Dean was there as a protector, Sam there as a lover."

"What happened?" Prentiss whispered.

"We went off to college. Sam got a girlfriend and I joined the FBI. Luckily for me, that put me off the grid for a while. Dean eventually got a hold of my number and started calling me almost every day to make sure I was ok. I hadnt heard from Sam until we saw him in the police station." Spencer said sadly, sighing. "I dont know what happened though. We, me and Sam, never officially broke up. Though I dont suppose we ever actually were together in the first place..."

Prentiss scoffed. "Yeah right. You kiss someone more than once and protect them and love them, you're together. I cant believe he did that. I'm sorry Spence."

"It's alright." He turned his head and smiled at his friend. "I'm fine."

"Are you sure?"

spencer nodded. "Yeah, oh look. We're here. This is the place."

Well there you go folks. Chapter seven is officially done. Now on to update my other stories!

Hope you liked it!Review please!


	8. authors note

Hey guys! I'm sorry I haven't been updating recently! I swear I'll update as soon as I can! I've been working on my book which is officially now published! Please check it out! Go onto the website called and type in Belladonna: the beginning by MD Moffitt. Please check it out! They're only 10ish dollars and I really need the publication! I promise I'll update everything soon! Don't worry, I'm working on them all now!


	9. Chapter 8

Hey! Finally updating! I'm sooo sorry I haven't in soo long! Like I said in my note, I've been working on my book! Woohoo! I noticed though that I didn't put the name of the site on there. Oops haha! It's called LULU. The link's at the end of the chapter, please check it out! Heres the next chapter! Thanks for all the reviews! I'm getting back to all my fanfics so I'll be updating more often! Still don't own anything but still haha here you go!

Chapter Eight

"I feel like a dick." Sam muttered, punching the wall of their hotel room.

Dean nodded, lying back on his bed and folding his arms behind his head. "Well you are. If it wasn't for the fact that you're my little brother, I would have beaten you to a pulp because of what you did to Spencer. You broke his heart, especially when you go and tell him that he was only 15 when you were barely older than him."

Sam nodded, leaning against the door. "I know. Damnit, I screwed up. How am I going to fix this?"

"He's an angel, Sam, he'll forgive you."

Laughing, the youngest of the hunters fell onto his bed, shaking his head. "He is though. He's like a ray of sunshine in this dark world. I can't help but love him. Even when I was with Jess, I found myself thinking of him. If he wasn't human, he'd be an angel, I've no doubt about it." Noticing Dean's glare, he laughed. "I know, no chick flick moments. Sorry. I just hope he forgives me."

"He will." Dean nodded, closing his eyes to get some rest. "Don't worry bout it Sammy, he'll forgive you. He always does."

Sam stared at the ceiling and thought. It was quiet and it set his nerves on edge. He usually fell asleep before Dean if he wasn't researching things. Even then it wasn't so quiet because he'd play music or listen to the typing of the keys on his computer. The hunter bit his lip, frowning. Had he really hurt the kid that much? He never meant to.

Sam was going off to college, Spencer was going off to college. Two different colleges, across the country from each other.

Spencer didn't expect it to work did he? Sam certainly didn't. he wanted it to work, trust me, he did. But he knew better than to hope for something that wasn't possible. He originally felt guilty when he started dating Jess. He hadn't told Spence. They hardly talked anymore as it was, he assumed it had been over. Spencer never came to visit or called. Though Sam couldn't talk either because he didn't call or visit Spencer.

But Jess was amazing. She was normal, she was pretty, she was a girl. Being gay in college back then was hard. You usually ended up in a dumpster because the jocks hated you. It was like high school all over again.

Sam was strong, but he couldn't fight against a whole football team.

So he resorted to Jess.

When Dean stuck into the house to get him that day, he had hoped it was Spencer. He had hoped that the boy had come to save him. Jess was great, she really was. But Sam couldn't handle her hormones, her whiny voice, her strange need to look amazing when she left the house. Sam didn't care about how she looked, why did she need to put all of that make up on anyway? And she was missing a certain body part that Sam secretly craved.

No, Spencer and him had never done 'it.' They'd been talking about it though, once they knew that life through college was okay that they could see each other.

Apparently that didn't work.

Sighing, Sam rolled onto his stomach and shoved his face into the pillow as a mild attempt to suffocate himself. He was an idiot. He hurt himself. He hurt Spence. He'd never forgive himself. But then again, Spence had a point earlier.

The demon thing was getting harder and harder to deal with, especially with Ruby snooping around all the time. What was he supposed to do? He didn't want to leave without Spencer again. He wanted to kiss and make up, he wanted to apologize for being a dick. He wanted the boy to love him again. But then again, he didn't. He wanted to make sure that Spence was safe. He wanted to know that no matter how bad the blood spread through his body, that he wouldn't be able to hurt the one he always loved. Could he do that if he stayed, or if he came to see Spence when they didn't have a job? Would he be able to stop that urge to fight or drink blood? Dean didn't know about the whole Ruby blood thing. Should he tell Spencer? Could he tell him?

Drinking a demon's blood once was dangerous. Drinking it every time you had sex with her was worse.

What was he going to do?

Kay, here's the link to my book if you guys want to check it out! Sorry for being so late on the update!

.com/product/paperback/belladonna-the-beginning/18828019?productTrackingContext=search_results/search_shelf/center/3


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